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I'm tired, I'm so tired, I need one day off, one day just for me.
One day to be able to clear my mind, to let me do what I like the most, to give me a chance to focus on something else or maybe even to sleep the whole day through.
It's been a while since my last "me day", I placed everyone before myself, hell, I don't even remember when it was last time.
You know, days are long, stressful, full of expectations and responsibilities.
At home, the questions are being asked, but I'm so distanced from everything, so many times I don't even hear the questions, or just simply nod with my head.
That's not a person I was, I used to listen, understand, remember.
Sometimes I feel like that person is buried so deep under so many questions, feelings, thoughts and worries.
I noticed that even a slightly raised voice at me makes me go into depression and inner anger.
What hurts me the most is if I try to help a person who needs help, and that person raises their voice at me in an angry way.
If I don't offer my help, the very same person gets, sort of, angry as I didn't help, or maybe I'm wrong, but I can surely feel it even without words spoken.
I'm so tired of everything, I'm tired of me, of my thoughts, of my brain and most certainly of my weights that I carry around, keep piling them up and pretend that everything will be fine.
Written in Germany